With a nod to International Women’s Day, I thought I’d explore the dichotomy of keeping inspired through despair. So many of us women try to be Wonderwoman and it’s only natural to be struck with setbacks of exhaustion, self-doubt and the reality of not being able to achieve all that we wish to. What happens, though, when negativity wins over inspiration? Depression can set in and if you are like me, it can become a looming entity hovering between you and your dreams.
There are many degrees of depression and I won’t even begin to profess to be an expert. They range from chemical imbalances to a critical inner voice and all are destructive. Whether you may experience being particularly hard on yourself to perform or are battling a losing war with a chemical imbalance, I thought I would reach out with a bit of wisdom wrought with love.
For the last while (I won’t admit to how long …) I have been “shoulding” myself to death. Instead of just getting on with all that I want to do, I heap way too much on my plate and then get overwhelmed by the mass of it. Procrastination reigns and I end the day again, feeling pissed at my inability to move forward.
So instead of whining to myself (and you) I thought I would search out some bad habit blasters and share them with you. Yes (busted!!) I am procrastinating again but by reaching out with these hopeful points, maybe I will feel like I accomplished something today.
1. Ok, first we have to love ourselves. I live to spread love out but find it very hard to accept love in.
Here is a great perspective on remembering what it takes to love yourself. Grab yourself a cup of tea and have a listen to A Tedx Talk by Gala Darling titled Radical Self Love.
2.We all try to be special in some way. As an inspiration to our gender, I want to share two very special women with you to make you smile and love what makes us women.
As many of you know, Maya Angelou spoke her truth throughout her whole life. Her dedication to Human Rights, starting with her life story, inspired the world to love her. One of my favourite quotes from Maya is, “You can only become truly accomplished at something you love. Don’t make money your goal. Instead, pursue the things you love doing so well that people can’t take their eyes off of you.”
Martha Graham was a pioneer of modern dance. Her passion for dancing wasn’t thwarted when she was told she was “Too old, too big and too ugly” to be a ballerina. She created a new expression of dance that at first repelled her audience. It was so different, so awkward that it’s authenticity made people uncomfortable. It didn’t take long for the passion for the art to shine through and convince the world to love a new, bold and raw form of dance that moved the audience to tears.
The two women above didn’t try to be Wonderwoman. They just lived authentically and made their purpose their passion. How easy is that? Very, because it’s hard to dampen down passion. Even if we have “down days” our passion is still there, waiting … quietly.
I guess we should go easy on ourselves. There I go “shoulding” again.
3. But, really, it’s so easy to be hard on ourselves when we could be just taking a deep breath and making a list! Let’s start “coulding ” ourselves!
Seriously, making a list helps when you are overwhelmed. If you are specific about your tasks, just the process of listing them is an accomplishment. You become more clear and focused and by just ticking off one thing, you break the cycle of frustration.
Check out Michael Pollock’s blog to help you get your goals back on track.
4. Look around. Life is good. One of my all-time favourite things to put life into perspective is DESIDERATA. Have a look and download!
5. Try going for a walk or meditating, or just having a bath. The time and place where you can spend some quiet time with yourself can be healing in many ways if you let it. As you take these few minutes, think of how you would describe yourself from the perspective of someone else. Really try to look at yourself from another’s eyes. You aren’t so bad, right?
This is a quote from Martha Graham: “There is a vitality, a life-force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost.”
If you are inspired by Gala, Maya and Martha that’s great! They have amazing perspective and I wish I could get all three in the same room. If, however, you still feel the grip of depression dragging you down, it’s no light matter. Have a look at Dr. Lisa Firestone’s 6 truths and 8 ways to fight it.
In closing, our dreams are the things that keep us going. As women, we multitask through our day and still feel we didn’t do enough. Let’s pat ourselves on the back instead of putting ourselves down. We are wonderful women – no need to be Wonderwoman!
Bonus: I ran out to do an errand before posting this and gave myself time to reflect on how personal this post is. I gave myself a moment to ask if I wanted to “spill”. I decided to leave it as is because that is what blogs are – personal. I was listening to the radio and heard a “Woman mash shout out” for Women’s Day and they played a tune from the past that always had me up and smiling. So, along with the walks, baths meditation or cup of tea I have suggested, get up and dance TO THIS!!
Happy International Women’s Day. xoxoxo