Tag Archives: live your best life

4 Ways to Help You Love Yourself

February is the month where we take a special day to acknowledge those who we love. It’s fun to think up something special to do and find just the right card. We are happy to spend the time doing this for others but what about ourselves?

When I was a young single mom, people would often tell me that I had to take care of myself first or I wouldn’t be any good for my kids if I was sick or burned out. I never found the time to heed the advice, always making excuses to myself about not having the money for a massage or the time to just sit and read. Thankfully, I never got sick but I was perpetually on the brink of total burnout. One day a friend called to ask how I was doing. My answer was truthful yet ended with a comical punchline:images-5

“The kids are doing great, dinner is ready and the lunches are made for the morning, the laundry is done, floors are washed, but the dog ran away again and the plants are dead. Oh, and I’m fine.”

That was my order of priority.

As the years passed and my kids grew, the flurry calmed down a bit and I began to cultivate time to nurture myself in small ways. I hadn’t begun to love myself yet but I figured out ways to treat myself in ways that didn’t cost anything but the results were invaluable.

Below are some thoughts on ways to develop kindness to yourself. We start small but end up transformed into a person with undeniable self-worth.

Nurture your body.

It doesn’t take much to concentrate on buying healthier food. A healthy
diet is the first obvious way to say to your body that it deserves to be healthy. A clean diet just makes you feel better. Have some fun with it and find some great recipes that you look forward to eating. images

Enjoy your morning bathing with a special soap that you absolutely love, or a special body cream. When you smell the beautiful fragrance, your senses are telling your body that you think it is worth it.

Get outside! Going for a run, bike ride or walk gets your endorphins revved and makes you happier. A little sweat flushes out toxins and makes your skin glow. It’s a great feeling to love how your body feels after a workout.

Practice gratitude. It is simply magical how it creates depth and clarity in your life. It also allows you to slow down and be more calm. It is a win/win when your appreciation for something gives back by making you feel so good.

Here is a list of 50 ways you can nurture yourself. http://www.gateways-to-inner-peace.com/self-nurturing.html

Carve out calm time.

It took me years to realize how important this is. My New Year’s Resolution last year was to take more baths. I think I had five. Hmmm… Allowing ourselves to just sit with a cup of tea or hang out in a hammock and just shut down the mind is so foreigimages-1n yet so rejuvenizing! Put on some music and relax.

Clearing the mind is very healthy. That’s why yoga is so fabulous. Imagine running a marathon constantly. Your muscles would be strained beyond belief. The brain is an organ and must be allowed to experience calmness.

An uncluttered mind performs better. You will be amazed at your ability to remember more things and be more organized in your life. Stress will fall away when you feel back in control and you will become more positive.

Can calmness become a habit? Read about 7 tips here. http://zenhabits.net/calm/ 

Be positive.

If you know a lot of positive people, you may think it is easy being happy all the time. It isn’t. It is a conscious decision to be positive or not and sometimes you have to work at it. Feeling happy is the physical result of millions of chemical reactions in the body and it isimages-2
powered by positive energy. Try smiling at a stranger as you pass or saying, “Good morning” to someone as you jog by. The positive energy created is palpable as they smile and respond.

As I mentioned previously, exercise raises the endorphins in our body that are our happy hormones. If you are feeling low, simple exercise of any kind can make your spirits lift. I guarantee it works every time.

Another way to feel positive is to become more organized. When you have your life in order you unclutter your mind and can look ahead and make exciting plans for the future. It is a favour you can do for yourself that gives you immense satisfaction.

Here are 14 ways to cultivate positivity in your life. http://www.lifehack.org/284661/14-ways-positive-people-separate-themselves-from-negative-energy

Organize your life.

Being productive is probably one of the most important gifts you can give yourself. If you can accomplish more by getting up earlier or end your day knowing you are caught up, you can’t help feeling great about yourself. The reduced stress will probably add years to your life!images-3

Making a list and checking off the completed tasks is one of the most satisfying things you can do. When you become more organized and productive, you can’t help feeling proud of yourself which fosters self-esteem. Out of that comes self-respect and that, in turn, makes others respect you.

Your dreams and accomplishments are realized from planning the steps to achieve results. You can’t help believing in yourself when you have earned success. Confidence comes from planning, hard work and then giving yourself a pat on the back.

This is a great read about being confident. http://www.lifehack.org/324420/8-mistakes-that-amazingly-confident-people-never-make

Having written all this, I have to be honest and admit that I still don’t love myself. I’m not sure what it really means to do so. I did a meditation years ago where I imagined myself as a child in her most vulnerable state. I was to reach out to that child and tell her I would always have her back. I love that small, innocent version of myself. images-4

As I careen through life I must listen to my inner voice telling me to slow down and enjoy the ride. I am trying to be more organized and I really love my soap in the shower. Hopefully, I will make the time for more baths this year. I am excited about my productivity and success and even have more self-esteem. Maybe if I heed my own advice I will learn to love myself.

For now, I like myself a lot and that’s a start.

 

 

Dream Big! 5 Reasons to Set Lofty Goals

Do not lose hold of your dreams or aspirations.

images-1For if you do, you may still exist but you have ceased to live.
—Henry David Thoreau

From: Gifts of the Crysnix

 

“Dream Big!” I love to write those words when I am signing one of my books. Whether it is to a young teen or a grandmother, I love to challenge my readers to get outside of their comfort zone and dare to create an even better life for themselves.

Most of us are familiar with the S.M.A.R.T. method of goal setting. S.M.A.R.T. is an acronym used to remind us that goals should be specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and time-bound.

Big goals are scary to many of us. They cut right to the “A” in the S.M.A.R.T. scheme, that is, we may think that we can’t attain them. We look at a big goal, and then we look back at ourselves, and where we are right now, and we think “what is the point of setting a goal like that, I can never attain it.”  The reality is that in many cases we don’t know what we are actually capable of achieving until we try.  We don’t know our limits until we actually test them.

As a result, massive, crazy, wild goals can make our life more enjoyable and fulfilling. Here is why:

  1. If We Allow Ourselves A Moment To Dream, We Get Really Excited

When we stop and think about what life would be like if we actually achieved the big goal, we get excited. The goal itself creates a gravitational pull that negates the need for willpower. The excitement of the possibility pushes us to take action. When we live every single day “under the influence” of a big dream, with a vision in our minds of the actuality of that dream, we are so busy moving towards the goal that we don’t have time to feel sorry for ourselves. Regardless of whether we actually achieve the big goal, our life becomes significantly enriched by this new mode of living. Over time, we transform into a new person, one who never feels sorry for themselves, or spends time in “what could have been” because we are so busy (and fulfilled) chasing what we believe is possible.

 

  1. They Cause Us To Make Long Term Improvements

Big goals cause us to expand our vision (to make room for the goal).  When we expand our vision we confront the reality that there are “structural changes” that must take place in our business or our life (depending on the nature of the goal) in order for the goal to come to fruition. That is, our current infrastructure or systems (in either our business or our life) are not equipped to support the big goal. Once we realize this we start making changes that will have significant positive long term benefits. We “strengthen the foundation” of our business or our life. This creates a ripple effect that spills over into other areas of our life in a positive way.

  1. They Make Us Much More Resilient In The Short Term

When we look big, we know that every second counts. We have to give the very best that we have, every single day. We know that we can’t waste a moment in self-pity or meaningless time wasting activities. As a result, we start accounting for the “present moment” much more than we would when we are setting goals that don’t cause us to stretch. In our world of technology, distraction is a great danger. In order to achieve big goals we must be absolutely resilient and relentless in the short term.

  1. They Cause Us To “Get Real” With Ourselves And Confront Our Deficiencies

Big goals cause us to confront reality. If we start with the belief (or even the hope) that a big goal is actually attainable, we must then ask the next question: How could it happen? This question brings to light our relationship with reality.  We have to be honest with ourselves, and address either our poor habits and behaviors (if it is a personal goal) or our poor systems and processes (or lack thereof) if it is a business goal. It is so easy to blame others, never take personal responsibility, and make excuses. It is a courageous (and effective) person however who is willing to accept personal responsibility and take a deep look inward to address deficiencies rather than looking outside. When we set big goals we are forced to look inward first and make changes there.

  1. They Cause Us To Develop Powerful Habits

In all of this what is happening is really a change of behavior.  This ultimately is the greatest benefit of setting big goals.  If we are really going after them (with all our heart) then we are forced to change our behavior.  We become much more positive people (point 1). We set up systems and processes that are valuable for the future (point 2), but we live completely in the present and make the most of our time (point 3).  Finally we become “real” with ourselves and look to change internally before we point the blame at others (point 4).  When we maintain all of these behaviors for a sustained period of time, what we are actually doing is something incredible – we are instituting powerful life changing habits.

At this point it doesn’t even matter whether we achieve the big goal or not.  We have achieved arguably a greater victory of having significantly improved ourselves.  This is the ultimate ancillary benefit of setting big goals.  They help us to build, and improve ourselves, dramatically, and it is done through a sustainable change.  It is done through the power of habit.

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Only I hold the key to my destiny. The power of my will shall shape my future.

I am the force that can clear any obstacles before me.

My choice. My responsibility.

From: Gifts of the Crysnix

The Calgary Book Launch

 

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This week I had my first Calgary launch party at Self Connection Books. The store has a private event room and the facilities to webcast so I was able to connect with my readers in person and through the web. It was so cool to know I was reading to people across the United States and Canada.

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Of course, I made too much food but I had to provide a feast! I printed out excerpts from a couple of feasts from the book and displayed them on the tables along with the food.

 

 

And who could forget the purple frosted sparkly cupcakes and the shortbread cookies with the fancy purple “C” from the cover? Ok, I get a little crazy when there is a chance to decorate with icing as my friends and family can attest …

 

The day was really fun and, as always, it is such a treat for me to share bits and pieces from the book. For my reading, I chose the scene where Princess Amethyst is interpreting the Laws of Light in her Volare Solus ceremony.

As I began, Princess Amethyst took the podium and cleared her throat… I smiled to myself and read on.

The reading began on page 180 and included the first five Laws:

‘know thyself’

‘be a vessel of harmony’

‘live in a state of gratitude’

‘leave the world in a better state’

‘never forget our purpose’

During the Volare Solus, which is a coming of age ceremony, the young adult Crysnix demonstrates his or her maturity by not only reciting all the Laws, but offering a personal interpretation of them.

How would you explain them apply them to your life?

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Thanks so much to everyone who joined us in person and through the webcast. I really appreciate your ongoing support.

Ten Points From “Gifts of the Crysnix”

  1. Fight the fear that holds you back.
  2. Find strength in humility.
  3. The power of forgiveness can set you free.
  4. Live by the Laws of Light to reveal the best version of yourself.
  5. Live your best life by working through your goals and  your dreams will be fulfilled.
  6. Can the power of a wish change your life? Greet each day as if it has already happened.
  7. Trust yourself; the universe is waiting to deliver if you just ask.
  8. If thoughts have mass, wishes have power. Quantum physics makes them come true.
  9. Listen to your inner voice. It is trying to make you believe.
  10. Gratitude can save your life.

As I work at the final stages of pulling together my publicity campaign, I am thrilled at the prospect of sharing myself through my book. I have to be careful not to give too much of myself away and spread myself too thin. Like the locket in the story, we can keep a talisman close to our hearts to help us remember to be kind to ourselves.

It can be anything to trigger the reminder. A piece of jewellery, a favourite piece of clothing or even a scented cream. Through the day, it’s a good thing to stop and take a moment to honour our health, our gifts and our lives.

Queen Rose paused and slowly presented her daughter with a finely tooled, heart-shaped locket held on a delicate necklace of shimmering pearls and crystals. Princess Amethyst tenderly opened it to find bits of purple, pink and white crystals sparkling inside. “This is a piece of yourself so you do not give it all away,” her mother said. Excerpt from Gifts of the Crysnix

Queen Rose paused and slowly presented her daughter with a finely tooled, heart-shaped locket held on a delicate necklace of shimmering pearls and crystals. Princess Amethyst tenderly opened it to find bits of purple, pink and white crystals sparkling inside.
“This is a piece of yourself so you do not give it all away,” her mother said.
Excerpt from Gifts of the Crysnix